1. |
Kayhaitch
06:17
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I watched you loving every minute of the day while my relationship decayed
I told you that I loved you as a friend that's not the way that it stayed
just writing to read you smiling evermore~
I lost you right in front of me
And I want to compliment you on how accurately came your arrow
for the winged one you sent to me, guide me through my fall
while the compulsion to make you happy was eating me up inside
I lost you right in front of me
Not even that long but how far we'd come since the night you arrived
enveloped in happiness I couldn't bear to feel you alone
and there's something to be said for being content
that you are out there
a lifetime friend to be~
I felt a part of my life closing in your open arms
next to my name on a glass like I could sleep where I lay forever
Through the light you cast, sincerity shared, I tread so lightly
I lost you right in front of me
And I told you I wont lie
we all have secrets safely hidden inside
I have so much to loose just knowing you
that I'd rather keep my mouth shut and hope it all drifts by~
The truth about you breaks when I am lying at night on the waves
No sea or sun, what have I done?
The night subsides and there you are again, ready to welcome my new day
but it's not you next to me~
Now I've reached the point I cant feel what I trust anymore
like I've been hit by a shell while my head and my heart are at war
Yet more time in your presence is something real that I can still hope for
to have you right in front of me~
just to have you there in front of me
And I'd hate to exchange this honesty
for you to treat me any any differently
I cant control this way I feel
but I can beg your mercy
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2. |
Cherry Red
05:36
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Our hearts entwined
die by my side
days aimed high
may be not mine
Every hard fought path a step toward the peace for which you prayed
but when you finally felt your spirits lifted clear you'd just been falling the wrong way
You're pale, but not in a good Goth pallor way,
more like you're going into shock,
and you've been walking around here like that for days
Another misplaced opportunity and you go stabbing at the world you've got, seeking meaningful change
Because every time you make a mistake they seem so grand
accurately misplaced now
given less reason to be here at all like a soul just hanging round
looking for ladders to climb
Things seem up around the edges but I don't buy it
but now I don't know where I was
everything shouting promise where it counts
always becomes quiet
now I'm not sure where I'd gone wrong
Every hard fought path out of here's like you'd been given that which you prayed
prayed for me to return
when you finally felt your spirits lifted clear you'd just been falling the wrong way
Days gone by
we're divine
Don't kill mine
drowned in wine
Don't worry why
we won't die
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3. |
Free From Me
05:58
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It's the same note
the same note I always find
same note I've got to date
same note that's all I've got to show
for the end of loving different souls
in my same way
The same note
full of all we've known
same note that said we are done
I'm sorry I had to be the one you didn't know how to let go
I tried so hard to make sure you knew
that leaving had nothing to do
with the way i felt for you
I only sent that last message once I was sure that you did too
It's the end of us
And i always pray
I always pray
despite the loss that you are okay
I always just want to be able to ask
from an untenable position
if you are okay
and i truly hope you are
It's all the same note
It's all the same note
I always know what it means
it's been channeling me in all my love
like an emotional bomb
dropped form above
to turn all caring obscene
It's the end of us
I free you from me
I free you from me you said
and now I'm gone
It's always the same note
The same note I've always got
right before I lost the lot
I still wonder if you're okay,
and I truly hope you are
It's the same note
the one I've always got
your sympathy don't mean a whole lot
A union less lifetime to be learned
yet before the point you didn't have to return
both of us upset 'bout being burned
deserter you can wait your turn
It's the same note
Dear John, for years I believed you'd passed
rather than mourning my heart first
separated like an off hand clock
never quite telling my heart when to stop
It's the same note
the one I've always got
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4. |
Into The Sun
06:08
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I appreciate the prayers and the thoughts
helping me retain our understanding
of states we all built over time
hoping me effortlessly back on course
It's not always easy to steer around
charity and tactful hands keeping me here
nothing to do with hate for you
it's momentum
that's what I've been learning
Can you see the fire I'm in
everything you know of me second guessed
do you not see me struggling back in
ready to rest
My decisions into perspective
and life apparently on the rise
but did you notice it being uprooted
whilst i spoke through Icarus eyes
I cried as i couldn't fly high enough to avoid it
flight not fight found a pointless ascent
and further goodbyes
I tried and i tried but I couldn't find by without the hurting
now debt and loss lie grounded
with feathers and wax beside them
'Cause I've been diving into the sun
living ideas that most of you only see before tears
no suitable life to run
not in years
Well I've been diving into the sun
that's what I've been hearing from everyone
I'm glad i don't see any of them down there
already burning
Already burning
I can't tell you if or when behavior lacks
or my complete sense isn't present now
when this blanket of normality detracts
whatever not on earth that is
I've been hearing I like diving in the sun
amid confusion and denial from friends
I was hoping you wouldn't let me continue to run
there will be no one who can see me from down there
I've been diving into the sun
living ideas that most of you only see before tears
no suitable life to run
not in years
Well I've been diving into the sun
that's what I've been hearing from everyone
I'm glad I don't see any of them down there
already burning
Already burning
I tried and i tried but I couldn't find by without the hurting
that led to now and further good byes
Well I've been diving into the sun
that's what I've been hearing from everyone
I'm glad I don't see any of them down there
already burning
Already burning
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5. |
Frosted Thoughts
04:47
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I felt those red flags I'd seen before
that I messaged to you like semaphore
but you never felt your wind beside my way
Cherish you, follow you
wish the day our hopes flew to
will come about
and escort us through
Typecast history still built history
And I thought about
not being here despite you without my dear
it was the runaround intentions clear
that had you entertaining fears
that I couldn't doubt
you considering being here
You saw it on a screen
buffed in bright sheen
no context yet believed
no time to think about
me where I typed it out
no emotions forsaken this time round
here we live in a not so silver
as silicone lined cloud
The checking, reloading
that's not so refreshing
the seen labels harrowing meaning
because I typed before I thought
now I'm stuck with the waiting
Typing history
Typing history
I want your decision and thought unabridged
filled with your human touch
the impromptu surprise you find delivered
I want your actual hands
that swipe and type and such
My head wont fit in an output field
you may wish all you want
in your ASCII and binary
it's up to you to help generate our key pair
I can't keep up to this pressure
replied text doesn't cool me
like your fucking processor
I'll continue to spike
I miss you staring down with real tears
trying to catch your breath
the pained expressions and frosted thoughts
as a sea of hope washed over unexpected ends
I need your presence without the vacancy
or I want to watch you realize them coming
I've got one not 128 keys
as allocated to me for who I was
not the tally of friends your
life now based on
The only RAM you'll ever find
is me pushed out and dropped from your life
living your time like ruby on rails
does that mean we are really done
the day your login fails
Trying to type history
We're typing history
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6. |
Aggenee
04:45
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And I'm always waiting to hear
or I'm always hoping to read
of your changing words that never come
as the last parts of you crush down around me
Longing through the fall
and accepting through its wake
yet you always come back
but never want to stay
I know you understand sacrifices
as nothing comes without cost
yet I'd never considered the pain of damage
or irony of loosing you
to save you being lost
(save you being lost)
Longing throughout the fall
holding myself saddened
til the next time you come back
fearing I wish you hadn't
(Wish you hadn't)
Fearing I wish you hadn't
I'll never risk you not returning
despite from me what it takes
If I'm just meant to be your friend
I can always be here to help you
from here, that's a good result
Longing through the fall
for a future gone without
where I saw years of showing you realized dreams
that weren't sown for anyone else
Longing through the fall
holding myself saddened
Longing throughout the fall
for the time we left abandoned
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7. |
Terms And Conditions
05:22
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Shedding the honesty right from the start
If I only knew any other way to protect my heart
despite the risks incurred we endeavored
I found myself needing you and your company but it's leaving me numb
heard that shouldered devil so malevolently say
treading water in your spaces is better than being alone in mine
that this weren't turned on the lathe of heaven
between heaven and hell this is the place where I compromise
Just coming to terms with what now has risen
that this weren't turned on the lathe of heaven
Can't you see I am smothered
please direct a breeze to me
Not to detract from the lack of mistrust
I once saw you as a castaway'd see the shore
nor clinging to majesty in lands this allowed
We explored and we ran amid new lands we found
just being so blase accepting its progress
Relentless waves rolled in, eroding all of my hopes for us
only to build these troublesome times now
Now I'm washed, bleached and hollowed
Tiny ripples are all I dare to cause
still coming to terms within worlds misgiven
Somehow you feel we are at home
this weren't turned on the lathe of heaven
Wishing you'd throw me a lifeline
Despite the past sans displays compelled
where we really felt union excelled
contentment in hindsight seem more like struts
its supporting foundations antithesis
i mean not to betray all the attention we paid
just feeling not so lost in direction
and be able to say things we ignored in a way
less restricted by uncertain silent suppression
Coming to grips with the terms and conditions
This weren't turned on the lathe of heaven
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8. |
Supposed Adversary
07:08
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Alone, is how I felt after what you wrote
I'm not sure if you meant or you know
how you steered me down this road
or couldn't articulate what you showed
to me
what you passed
unintentionally pried us apart
now I can no longer sleep in the dark
dreams dropped like bombs not bestowed
and if I wake it's to a shocking start
of another day
living in the embers dying glow
The boat
don't rock it and you'll never know
how I really feel about what I left
and how you always felt that you deal
every day with me in remnants
of the beautiful place that I was in
but you knew
where I was
before I'd recently returned from the war
shot down by a supposed adversary
who'd said that they loved me more
Now I'm gripping the past tight
like the blade of a sharpened knife
but expecting the opposite
of everything I've ever been taught
Because lower
lower is not what I do
and I've never been one to contemplate suicide
and I don't wanna hurt you further
living with my past decisions too
and getting to the unison early it seems a waste
certainly not for this kind of pain
its taken me months of near miss and substance abuse
to set me on this one straight
From where I've decided to climb
And not in the nick of time....
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Claytonsfaith Melbourne, Australia
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